You won’t always be married to the same person

Your spouse won’t always be the same person that you married, and honestly, thank God for that. Can you imagine if they never changed? How boring would that be? Seriously, imagine it for one minute. Think of who you were 10 years ago.
Go ahead.
It doesn’t even matter how old you are currently. If you’re 20, ten years ago you were 10. That’s fourth grade. What did you think of politics in the fourth grade?
What was your favorite food?
Favorite thing to do?
Who were your friends?
Okay, age 10 is a stretch of a comparison. Let’s say you’re 30 now. Ten years ago you were 20, maybe a sophomore in college, just a couple of years out of high school.
Go ahead, think about it.
What was your opinion on politics at age 20?
What was your favorite food?
Favorite thing to do?
Who were your friends?
How have you morphed into the person you are now over the years?
How do your priorities now compare to what they were 10 years ago? Or even 5 years ago?
How much have you grown?
Think of your relationship with God. Is it better? Stronger? Fuller than it was 5 years ago?
Are you happy with where you’re at or would you like to keep moving forward? Would you like to build a deeper relationship with your creator?
Would you like to keep progressing at work?
Would you like to keep up with the trends and try new things?
Would you like to travel?
Can you imagine how boring life would be if you never changed?  Each one of these things helps you develop into who you are. And you want your spouse to love and appreciate the growth you achieve on your journey. Because that’s what growth equates to, right?
Achievement.
You want them to be proud of you and to support you as you grow. You want them right next to you along your personal journey. You want them to accept who you are at every stage in your life, because you’re growing, you’re changing. And change is beautiful. Your experiences change you. Your environment shapes you.
But it also does this for your spouse.
Often times, I think we forget that our significant others are people too. And they crave that same support from us that we expect from them as we continually grow and change. As bad as it sounds, sometimes we get so wrapped up in our own crap that we forget that our spouse is currently living their own story. They’re fighting their own demons. They’re being influenced by their environment, by the articles they read, and by the people they encounter. And its our duty, as the spouse, as the significant other, as their best friend… to be there for that. We need to be actively present – physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and in prayer.
But let’s be honest. We’re human! And it’s hard not to get so wrapped up in our own crap that we forget about their crap. It’s hard to be that present all the time. But we need to be aware that while we are changing, our spouse is as well.
And we need to be aware that if we aren’t present for their journey, that we will inevitably wake up one day and wonder where the person we married went. We will wonder why, WHY, don’t they look at us the same way they used to?! WHY doesn’t she want to cuddle at night anymore? WHY doesn’t he want to get me a glass of water anymore? WHEN did it become such a big deal???
Now imagine you meet up with your best friend from high school for coffee, and it’s been 10 years since you’ve seen each other.
Ten years.
It’s a little awkward isn’t it? Part of you wants to act the way you did with them back when you knew each other. Part of you wants to show off how much you’ve grown. Part of you wants to hide your demons and your pain. Part of you wants to tell them every terrible and beautiful detail from the last ten years. But you don’t have the time, and your coffee is getting cold. The kids keep calling, and there’s laundry to be done. So you say your goodbyes, and you leave your get together feeling a little emptier inside because you started to recognize the void that developed without your best friend in your life for the last ten years. You start to realize you’ll never get that time back, and maybe it’s just better to move on without them. You’ve changed. They’ve changed. Life got in the way. And now you’re too far apart to come back together.
You have to fight to keep people in your life. And it is hard. But if you don’t try, you’ll be celebrating your 10 year wedding anniversary with someone you hardly even know. So you have to put your crap down from time to time, take them on a date, and ask them what their new favorite song is. Ask them to tell you why that song clutches their soul. Ask them what their new favorite hobbies are, and don’t take the answer for granted. Ask why. If they just want to Netflix and chill, find out what is going on in their life that drains their energy to the point that all they look forward to is literally doing nothing. Find out who is in their life, what they think about recent politics, and cook them their favorite meal. Stay on top of it.
Because if you do, in ten years you won’t have to ask yourself why. You’ll be able to roll over in the morning, knowing exactly who you’re waking up with, and all you’ll have to say is, “Good morning, my love.”

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